


Beyond Your Jurisdiction

by luckybarton



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Men in Black Fusion, Canon What Canon, Comedy, Crack, Ficlet, Marvel Cinematic Crossover Exchange, Phil Coulson Is a Men In Black Agent, Treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-25
Updated: 2018-08-25
Packaged: 2019-07-02 07:07:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15791490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luckybarton/pseuds/luckybarton
Summary: When the universe isn’t ending, you have to go through customs.





	Beyond Your Jurisdiction

**Author's Note:**

  * For [OzQueen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/OzQueen/gifts).



“You’ve _got_ to be kidding me,” Coulson said, staring down a sheepish-looking Peter Quill—and his crew, who looked less sheepish and more annoyed. It was unmistakably the look of ‘I-can’t-believe-we’re-going-to-have-to-do-this-again.’ At least they were on the same page. “You violated a parking ordinance.”

“A who what now?” Rocket barked. “Thissa planet. And the last time we was here, we just landed.”

Coulson folded his arms. “The last time you were here, the universe was about to end. Which was just beyond our jurisdiction. And yours, given that you’re the Guardians of the _Galaxy.”_

Quill jumped in. “The galaxy is in the universe.”

“The Earth is in the galaxy,” Drax nodded.

“Which puts _you_ in _our_ jurisdiction,” Quill finished triumphantly. Drax and Gamora glanced at him questioningly.

Rocket nodded. “Sounds right to me. We’re outta here.”

“No,” Coulson said, wishing his arms weren’t already folded so he could fold them again. “That isn’t how the law works. You _violated_ a _parking ordinance.”_

“And you’re violating my right to... whatever.” Quill said. “Just let us go already?”

“When the universe isn’t ending, you have to go through customs,” Coulson said. “And land in a designated area. The map is publicly available.”

Quill looked indignant. “We saved your ass last time. And Earth’s ass. The galaxy’s ass. The _universe’s ass.”_

“Peter,” Gamora said. “Just go with it.”

“It’s just customs,” Rocket said. “Hand over ya vegetables. Let ‘em see some papers.”

“Good thing I don’t eat vegetables,” Quill said.

“That isn’t a good thing,” Drax monotoned.

“Whatever,” Quill said. “Go look at the guns. And Drax’s vegetables.”

“I’m ignoring the guns,” Coulson said. “On account of you ‘saving the Earth’s ass’. Just don’t have any of them on your person.”

“You’re joking,” Rocket grumbled. “So do we have to wear them skin-suits, then? I heard about that.”

“No. After everything that happened, I think we’re over that,” Coulson said. “I’m going to give you a leaflet with all the major rules. I trust you to break the minor ones anyway.”

“I’m just saying, a parking ordinance does _not_ sound like a major law,” Quill said.

“It’s small, but it’s important,” Coulson said. “Now hand over your vegetables. And welcome back to Earth.”

 


End file.
